Dubbie. Dub-Dub. Stoner McHophead. (Wendy Watson) (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
actionpainting) wrote2011-05-15 04:30 pm
actionpainting) wrote2011-05-15 04:30 pm
Entry tags:
App
Character: Wendy Watson
Series: The Middleman
Character Age: Early to mid-20's
Job: Abnormality Cataloger
Canon: In a world where aliens are among us (in the form of boybands) and vampires (in the form of ventriloquist dummies) terrorize the night, there's only one man who can save the world-- the Middleman. Well, one man and his sidekick, Wendy Watson. In an effort to find temp work to pay off her student loans, Wendy joined the Middle Organization thinking the most she'd have to do was some filing for the angry secretary out front. Instead, she learned that her job was actually to fight evil while preventing the rest of the world from discovering the truth about things like aliens, monsters, and the second werewolf presidency. Yeah, it's that kind of show.
Wendy was hired for two reasons-- she has excellent hand-eye coordination from years of playing videogames, and weird stuff doesn't freak her out at all. Angry secretary's really a robot? Sure, whatever! Mutant attack in the middle of a phone call? Inconvenient but hey, Wendy can handle it! That, combined with her pop culture knowledge and snarky, fast-talking attitude, makes Wendy the perfect sidekick and hero-in-training. Of course, she does sometimes wish she could take a couple of days off to focus on her art, or hang with her roommate, or maybe just have a quiet evening that doesn't end with a bad guy making a speech explaining a stupidly convoluted plan. Still, at the end of the day, Wendy will always remain loyal to her job and enthusiastic about kicking the next bad guy's butt.
Sample Post:
Hi kids! I'm Special Agent Watson, and before I start my obligatory schpiel about being Your Friend, The Abnormality Cataloger, I'd like us to take a moment to appreciate secretaries. Yes, the humble secretary, who may be particularly cantankerous on the outside and vaguely inhuman on the inside, but still serves an important function in society-- namely, as ruiner of Friday nights. Instead of acknowledging the important strides you've made on multiple difficult cases and allowing you to leave early, the secretary will subtly remind your boss that the rumored hub of "strange, weird, and downright out-of-place" things that somebody called you about still needs to be surveyed and measured. And when you attempt to argue that it's already called a hub of weird things, so measuring its hubbiness is sort of a waste of a weekend, the secretary will shove a Google Maps printout with directions in your hand and ignore everything you say. Yes, secretaries are the most unappreciated of us all.
...okay, yeah, I think I've got it all off my chest. Sorry about that, but if I'm going to be getting my Mulder on I'd prefer if it was on a weekday between the hours of 9 and 5. Also if it wasn't in a place that was apparently full of stuff from every horror movie ever made? Trying to find something meaningfully abnormal around here that deserves investigating is like trying to find a Lovecraftain horror in an aquarium. There's a whole bunch of worrying stuff around, but it's hard to tell if it's from another dimension or just the part of the ocean where disturbing appendages are just a thing. So can we just take a moment and contemplate: what is weird?
No, seriously, let's get on this. I'm not trying to be philosophical-- weirdness is relative, so what I'd consider abnormal might be completely ordinary to most of you. I plan to use this knowledge to maybe not have to spend all weekend cataloging the number of gorillas I see or the tentacle length of the... thinger you've got hanging around on the tower. And don't give me that look-- this isn't shirking, this is prioritizing. The sooner I find the grandaddy of all weird stuff, the sooner my boss and I can come in and remove it, thus allowing all of you to return to your regularly scheduled lanyards and gorilla appreciating.
Do you need an example? Okay, sure, why not. I have a nametag and a badge so guess I do carry some amount of authority on this. I personally think it's really strange that there's a bunch of zombies prancing around and that no one's panicking at all! And that my phone hasn't been working for a couple of hours. Actually, switch those two-- not getting reception in the middle of phone tower country is much more concerning to me than a camp quietly accepting the presence of a horde of Romero movie knockoffs. See what I mean about relativity?
Anyway, now it's your turn. Take some time, reacquaint yourselves with the weirdness around you. Accuracy is important, and thanks to a certain secretary? I'll be here aaallll weekend.
Voting
Series: The Middleman
Character Age: Early to mid-20's
Job: Abnormality Cataloger
Canon: In a world where aliens are among us (in the form of boybands) and vampires (in the form of ventriloquist dummies) terrorize the night, there's only one man who can save the world-- the Middleman. Well, one man and his sidekick, Wendy Watson. In an effort to find temp work to pay off her student loans, Wendy joined the Middle Organization thinking the most she'd have to do was some filing for the angry secretary out front. Instead, she learned that her job was actually to fight evil while preventing the rest of the world from discovering the truth about things like aliens, monsters, and the second werewolf presidency. Yeah, it's that kind of show.
Wendy was hired for two reasons-- she has excellent hand-eye coordination from years of playing videogames, and weird stuff doesn't freak her out at all. Angry secretary's really a robot? Sure, whatever! Mutant attack in the middle of a phone call? Inconvenient but hey, Wendy can handle it! That, combined with her pop culture knowledge and snarky, fast-talking attitude, makes Wendy the perfect sidekick and hero-in-training. Of course, she does sometimes wish she could take a couple of days off to focus on her art, or hang with her roommate, or maybe just have a quiet evening that doesn't end with a bad guy making a speech explaining a stupidly convoluted plan. Still, at the end of the day, Wendy will always remain loyal to her job and enthusiastic about kicking the next bad guy's butt.
Sample Post:
Hi kids! I'm Special Agent Watson, and before I start my obligatory schpiel about being Your Friend, The Abnormality Cataloger, I'd like us to take a moment to appreciate secretaries. Yes, the humble secretary, who may be particularly cantankerous on the outside and vaguely inhuman on the inside, but still serves an important function in society-- namely, as ruiner of Friday nights. Instead of acknowledging the important strides you've made on multiple difficult cases and allowing you to leave early, the secretary will subtly remind your boss that the rumored hub of "strange, weird, and downright out-of-place" things that somebody called you about still needs to be surveyed and measured. And when you attempt to argue that it's already called a hub of weird things, so measuring its hubbiness is sort of a waste of a weekend, the secretary will shove a Google Maps printout with directions in your hand and ignore everything you say. Yes, secretaries are the most unappreciated of us all.
...okay, yeah, I think I've got it all off my chest. Sorry about that, but if I'm going to be getting my Mulder on I'd prefer if it was on a weekday between the hours of 9 and 5. Also if it wasn't in a place that was apparently full of stuff from every horror movie ever made? Trying to find something meaningfully abnormal around here that deserves investigating is like trying to find a Lovecraftain horror in an aquarium. There's a whole bunch of worrying stuff around, but it's hard to tell if it's from another dimension or just the part of the ocean where disturbing appendages are just a thing. So can we just take a moment and contemplate: what is weird?
No, seriously, let's get on this. I'm not trying to be philosophical-- weirdness is relative, so what I'd consider abnormal might be completely ordinary to most of you. I plan to use this knowledge to maybe not have to spend all weekend cataloging the number of gorillas I see or the tentacle length of the... thinger you've got hanging around on the tower. And don't give me that look-- this isn't shirking, this is prioritizing. The sooner I find the grandaddy of all weird stuff, the sooner my boss and I can come in and remove it, thus allowing all of you to return to your regularly scheduled lanyards and gorilla appreciating.
Do you need an example? Okay, sure, why not. I have a nametag and a badge so guess I do carry some amount of authority on this. I personally think it's really strange that there's a bunch of zombies prancing around and that no one's panicking at all! And that my phone hasn't been working for a couple of hours. Actually, switch those two-- not getting reception in the middle of phone tower country is much more concerning to me than a camp quietly accepting the presence of a horde of Romero movie knockoffs. See what I mean about relativity?
Anyway, now it's your turn. Take some time, reacquaint yourselves with the weirdness around you. Accuracy is important, and thanks to a certain secretary? I'll be here aaallll weekend.
Voting